


Flush

by orphan_account



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Crack, Awkwardness, Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, Implied Oral Sex, Kissing, M/M, Multi, interfacing, quickie in the toilets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:48:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1538165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Request Fic for Lights321.<br/>Summery: The DJD, Overlord and two Ex-Decepticons walk into a bar. Ouch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flush

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, how witty is that summery?! I confess myself proud.  
> Secondly, although I am not a fan of crack fics, I'm oddly pleased with this, maybe because I tired so hard to make it work. Yes I know it's full of plot holes but can we please just move past that?  
> This was a request fic for Lights321, and although it was a challenge to write, I'm glad they suggested it because it was fun :)

It wasn’t Ambulon’s intension to explore the planet alone. When the shuttle landed he’d planned to stick with the group, but their buoyant and typically Autobot hilarity made him uncomfortable. Soon Ambulon began drifting away from the crowd. Though he wanted to integrate himself more fully he found the stiff smiles and nearly apologetic conversation too much to stomach, especially when chatting usually involved gossiping snidely about other crew mates. Ambulon didn’t tolerate that, he also didn’t want to know what the primary group said about him when he quietly slipped away. 

They’d planned a night of mayhem and shenanigans. Swerve had boasted it was going to be tremendous and described to Ambulon promises of promiscuity and alcoholism and just, _loud, loud, loud!_ Everything would be loud! Everything would be great! Everything would be exactly what Ambulon didn’t like. 

The drinking he could maybe endorse but everything else made Ambulon quickly realise he’d rather spend his free time in the pleasure of his own company. First Aid had mocked him in good humour, calling him a recluse and so on. Underneath the jokes Ambulon knew the nurse was disappointed Ambulon had chosen to diverge. But a little upset staring wasn’t enough to make Ambulon change his mind. 

Instead, he sat alone in a quieter bar. In front of him was his third drink of the evening, something a little bit fizzy to take the bitter edge off but with enough of a kick to make his tanks tingle. 

The evening was still early, the bar pleasantly humming with chatter and low music. A DJ was setting up on the far corner of the dance floor and already a flock of organic creatures with many song requests were tip-toeing around the three armed reptilian disk jockey. 

With each swig of his drink Ambulon felt the tension being drained out of his shoulders, he slumped further over the counter, surveying and making minimal conversation with the bar staff. A few curious eyes floated over him but Ambulon remained closed off and let his admirers dismiss themselves. 

Then, as he was starting to feel more dreary than energised by his consumption, Ambulon spotted the shape of someone he recognised, almost, he had to squint. It was Drift. The mutually Ex-Decepticon spotted Ambulon as Ambulon spotted him. They stared at each other for a moment, neither had really spoken together since meeting at Delphi and even then the conversation was practical and short. “ _Buckle your seatbelt”_ Drift had said to him aboard the shuttle taking Ambulon to the Lost Light for the first time. It was hardly a budding friendship. Which was why Drift was reluctant to join Ambulon. Probably he’d been seeking a place of solitude as well but to run into Ambulon so unexpectedly and then turn away would be rude. So he approached, cautiously, smiling faintly - the gesture Ambulon struggled to return.

“Hello.” Drift greeted him with ease but Ambulon’s tongue caught on his teeth. A feeling of self consciousness hit him suddenly. Sitting in front of Drift, Ambulon started noticing all the vast differences between them - not to mention that Drift was his superior and therefore this wouldn’t be just a casual conversation. Ambulon wasn’t practiced in minding his manners, after a couple of drinks he was not in the best frame of mind to begin learning. 

While his muggy processor was boggling intelligent conversation ideas Drift seemed to realised why Ambulon was at a social disadvantage. 

“Ah,” He gestured to the three empty cubes sitting in front of Ambulon on the counter in little watery puddles, “I see I have some catching up to do.” And so Drift signalled the bar tender over. Ambulon watched without much to say, until Drift suggested they move to a table. Not wanting to decline the offer and make things uncomfortable Ambulon tagged along. 

Drift chose a seat that was central. There were more tables surrounding them only one of which wasn’t occupied. Ambulon had never believed in Drift’s aura nonsense, however, Drift’s ease of conversation did have a calming effect on the medic’s tightly wound speech. He soon felt himself slipping into the same category of casual slouch Drift adopted. However, Ambulon’s ‘slouch’ was more visible than Drift’s as the high grade made his head heavy. 

Fortunately, he didn’t have to think too hard. Drift did most of the talking, Ambulon respectfully concurred with everything he said because the alternative would be to disagree. Most of the things they talked about were trivial, Drift didn’t say anything to open a debate. Both being ex-Decepticons, they shared a feeling of constantly walking on egg-shells through the corridors for a ship primarily run by Autobots. Their similarities resided in how they were different to everybody else. But Ambulon realised that wasn’t the instant mix for some kind of friendship between them, Drift was still his superior. At best, all Ambulon could hope for was a shared understanding of the mutual character sacrifices they had to make to fit in aboard the Lost Light. Which was a shame because…well, Ambulon’s eyes often drooped to the parts of Drift he shouldn’t ogle. Especially when Drift left the table to buy another round. He insisted on paying, that greatened his appeal even more. Ambulon watched him walk away, optics drinking in shapes and curves in the same way he savoured his drinks. 

But who was he kidding? 

Deciding he’d stared enough, Ambulon twisted back to the table, scrubbed his hands down his face and slapped the numbness out of his cheeks. 

Drift was out of his league. 

Some of Ambulon’s paint had shed over the table, he quickly dusted it onto the floor and while he was preoccupied a group of figures came to sit in the table opposite. Ambulon felt their EM field’s brush against his like a heavy shadow. _Cybertronians,_ Ambulon thought, and looked away from his cleaning to see if it was anyone he knew…

…and froze. 

Even with just his back to look at there was no mistaking Tarn’s ludicrously, enormous shape but the company of the spindly orange mech with the electrical pylons stacked on top of his back confirmed Ambulon’s worst nightmare was sitting opposite him… sipping on the same fruity beverages he and Drift had been ordering all night. 

Ambulon grabbed the drinks menu and unfolded it in front his face. A very singular train of thought stampeded through his processor: _DJD,_ ** _DJD!_** Run, _run! Hide!_

_Holy slag,_ Ambulon quivered behind the drinks menu. Of all the places, of all the times, of all the people - _why him?!_ It was so unfair Ambulon could cry and stamp his feet and demand an explanation off Primus as to why bad things always happened to him!

_Could be worse,_ He heard First Aid’s obnoxious optimism ringing in his audios, _Could be dead._ Well, here’s to that righteous attitude because very soon Ambulon _was_ going to be dead. The DJD would redecorate the pub with his and Drift’s innards and - Ambulon suddenly remembered, _Drift!_

He cautiously tilted his head toward the bar where Drift was still standing, waiting to be served and utterly oblivious to the living-hell waiting for him when he returned. He was so serene and natural, Ambulon wondered whether this was too implausible to be true. _Maybe,_ he’s imagined the table of horrors waiting for him on the other side of his drink’s menu. 

Tentatively, he explored that theory with hope. 

His nose peeped round the tatty cardboard shield first, then one optic. 

Alas, no luck. 

They’d been joined by two others, Vos and Tesarus’s monstrous shape. He made Tarn look _small_ \- how was that even possible?! 

Suddenly, Ambulon realised Kaon had his dark stare pinned upon him. Worse, he was grinning.

Spotted! He’d been spotted. 

Though his instinct was to boldly bale, fear restrained Ambulon to his chair.

Immediately, Ambulon retreated behind the menu expecting a pair of great hands to slap down on his shoulders at any second and pluck him out his chair. Maybe, _rip_ him out of his chair, or take one half of him and leave the other half behind. 

The possibilities made Ambulon shake. His face pinched tightly in anticipation of pain and tragedy. But as the horrible waiting continued and got… _nearly_ bored of waiting for his own death. Perhaps it wasn’t boredom but he was definitely suspicious of what was taking them so long!

The anticipation made him squirm more than death itself. 

Taking a peek over his shoulder to confirm no one was about to pounce on him, and after reconfirming Drift’s place at the bar, slowly, but not as slowly as the first time, Ambulon dared to drop the menu, revealing his helm crest and two squinting optics. 

Kaon was still facing him, but… his stare was just blank. He was nattering with the others and it was then Ambulon realised, he’d mistook the empty sockets in his helm for dark optics. 

Kaon couldn’t see him? 

It was tempting to wiggle his fingers. Not to mock the blind mech, just to confirm that Ambulon was, in fact, safer than he thought. 

_Kaon couldn’t see him!_ Feelings of relief and joy made Ambulon sag with gratitude.    

Before this hallowed window of opportunity could slam shut in his face Ambulon coolly stood, and like every normal, unafraid, un-hunted citizen he politely moved to tuck his chair under the table. 

All four legs scraped against the floor. 

The resulting screech was certainly loud enough to shatter glass. 

Ambulon froze again. His spark all but stopped. 

_Don’t turn around, don’t turn around._ He prayed. Standing up right and tense, wide optics glaring into the back of Tarn’s helm. 

DJD leader hadn’t moved. Not an inch. 

_Run! Run!_ No time for subtlety, Ambulon galloped to the bar, arms flailing and legs shaking, weak with fear. 

“Drift!” He crashed into the counter beside Drift, bumping his superior’s elbow just as the bartender was passing over their drinks. 

“Steady on!” Drift slurped some of the overflowing froth off the rim of his glass. 

Ambulon’s panic cut off his words and he panted into Drift’s face, 

“ _D-uh.”_

“What?” 

Reboot and try again. 

“ _DJD!”_ He hissed, Drift didn’t seem to understand, maybe he thought Ambulon was kidding, maybe he thought Ambulon had had too much to drink, but as soon as he turned toward their table Ambulon heard Drift whisper.

“ _DJD!”_ And his finals quivered in the same way Ambulon’s gangly knees were knocking together. 

Without hesitancy, because Drift had a plan for these kind of situations (It was similar to Ambulon’s it involved running and a whole lot of luck.) he turned toward the exit only to discover Helex blocking it. 

The huge Transformer was gazing about the club, searching the room. Hopefully he was looking for his comrades but if his sights did happen to settle elsewhere… 

“Holy slag.” Drift turned away sharpish, optics growing out of his helm. 

But then the lights dimmed suddenly. 

Ambulon flinched, expecting alarms and sirens to being sounding from all angles as the DJD charged at them. Instead the crowd whooped and the music turned up loud. Bright flashing lights started flickering and lasers of green, red and white strobed across the ceiling. 

“What the frag are we gunna do?” 

Ambulon saw Drift’s lips moving but didn’t here a sound just the thudding of a bass beat.

“WHAT?”

“I SAID WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!”

… 

“ ** _WHAT_**?!”

“ ** _I SAID” -_**

**_“_ ARE WE ALL HAVING A GOOD TIME TONIGHT?!” **The DJ’s deep voice blared through the sound system completely overpowering Drift. The scantily dressed alien-folk on the dance floor cheered like they really were having the best time of their lives while Drift and Ambulon wilted near the bar. “ **Good, goooood,”** The DJ smiled and fiddled with his turn tables, “ **Well, I… I hope you all realise what a very special day it is today, we’ve got a birthday in the house, let’s give it up for _VOS OF CYBERTRON!”_** And the crowd went absolutely ballistic, waving their arms about and wailing. Ambulon wasn’t even sure what a birthday was. But even though the attention was as far away from them as possible, and this was likely to be their best opportunity to flee the premises, neither he nor Drift could look away. 

Vos’s skinny body was making his way across the dancefloor, clapped on by the rest of the DJD. He hopped up on the podium and accepted the microphone off the Disk Jockey. The crowd went quiet as he cleared his vocal tubes and the music played quietly in the background.

Ambulon and Drift waited in suspense for his announcement but as soon as he started speaking their expressions curled with confusion. It was a reaction shared with most species on the dance floor. But Kaon seemed to find him wildly hilarious. 

“Is that…”

“ _Primal Vernacular._ ” Drift supplied. Once he’d gathered his wits Drift turned into the bar and hunched over, two drinks still clutched in his hands. Naturally, Ambulon followed, “What the actual _slag_ are we going to do.” Helex was still taking up much of the door space as he watched Vos’s speech with a smile. 

“I know what I’m going to do.” Ambulon took both drinks from Drift’s hands and knocked one back after the other. It was sour and bitter and probably his worst idea of the night, but, oh well, he couldn’t take it back now. Drift watched him drain both of the tall glasses with a kind of awe shining in his optics. 

“Ahh,” Ambulon gasped, wiping a smear of fluid away with his thump, “Let’s go.” As Vos’s long-winded speech reached its end Ambulon discarded the empty glasses, took Drift by the wrist and dragged him toward the bathrooms. 

They were greeted by three options, three doors; one with a humanoid waring a triangle, the other of a humanoid without a triangle and the third door had a question mark upon it. Ambulon assumed they should use that one. 

The door swung closed behind them and the music was muffled substantially. There was another door ahead of them before they reached the waste disposal units. 

“This is insane!” Drift cried, “Why the frag are we in here.” 

_Because I feel like I’m about to purge._ Ambulon didn’t say but hiccupped instead as he and Drift pushed through the final door. 

In front of them was a row of waste units, to their left was a line of four cubicles (one of which was branded out of order).

Standing at one of the waste units, draining his liquids was another enormous mech. Blue with segments of purple and white, evidence of a tank alt mode but also something that resembled an aircraft and the finest pair of lips Ambulon had even seen. 

 

The connection between these features and the identity of the present mech Ambulon’s inebriated brain was making slowly. By the time he computed a horrifying revelation Drift was shoving him into one of the toilet cubicles.

 

As he started to fall, the world seemed to spin faster. In a split second Ambulon registered more than he had done all night and his over-stressed processor nearly split in two. He hit the floor with a grunt, his knees splashing into a greenish puddle of he-didn’t-want-to-know-what and his hands quickly braced against the crusty toilet seat, catching himself before his head took a dunk in the fetid water swirling at the bottom of the toilet bowl. 

Ambulon wretched as Drift slammed the cubical door behind them and locked it. 

_Overlord._ That was _fragging_ Overlord. This had to be some kind of nightmare. Surely. 

But the burn of regurgitated fluid was real enough.

At least the Phase-Sixer hadn’t come barging into the cubical behind them. 

“Uhh.” Ambulon groaned, emptying a night’s progress into the slurry at the bottom of the toilet. 

Drift regarded him with sympathy, 

“You okay there buddy?” He asked, adopting the persona of the loyal friend, soothing away Ambulon’s drunken woes as if this was some typical night out. 

“No!” Ambulon spluttered, “I hate high grade.” 

Overlord and the entire DJD were standing within a hundred metre radius and that was _all_ he could think to say? Ambulon was embarrassed, as if the night wasn’t bad enough already now he had to add being a drunken mess to the list as well, “ohh.” He groaned and rested his fore helm against his arm. The rotten smell of the toilet caught him and soon Ambulon was throwing his head into the bowl again. 

At first he did notice Drift crouching down beside him but when he felt strong, soothing hands rubbing over his back Ambulon flinched in surprise.

 “We’ve all been there.” Drift said, remarkably calm and for a moment, Ambulon nearly forgot all his troubles outside the toilet stall. That was, until those troubles came to him.

There was a calamity in the space outside of their cramped green box. Drift’s hand ripped away from his back and he began to shout. As Ambulon mustered the strength to turn and see what the matter was he found that the cheap little lock keeping their door closed and been busted completely apart. And now, there was Overlord wedging himself in their cubical too. He and Drift were crushed together, chest to chest. Overlord’s thick legs spread on either side of Drift, his knees bent and touching both sides of the cubical. He needed to squat in order to keep hidden. The toilet cubical had a gap between its walls and the ceiling, if Overlord was to stand tall his head would be jutting over the barriers and therefore visible to whoever had just stumbled into the bathroom. Clearly it was someone Overlord wanted to avoid. 

Overlord didn’t say a word, he just smiled. Drift’s teeth were bared and he looked almost feral but said nothing either. 

Ambulon on the other hand moaned loudly, 

“Oh, what the _frag!_ ”

“Shh!” Both Drift and Overlord hissed. 

“The DJD are next door, Tarn and the little one.” To Ambulon’s genuine astonishment it was Overlord that told him that. Meaning to say that the Phase-Sixer was just as afraid of the DJD as everyone else. Well, maybe afraid was pushing it; sensibly cautious would be less insulting. 

Ambulon tried twisting to face the two other mechs. The effort ended with his hand slipping on the toilet seat, Ambulon over balanced and landed flat on his aft in the murky puddle surrounding the toilet basin. 

_Yuck!_

“Next door?” Ambulon questioned aloud as he lifted himself out of the mess. Wondering if Overlord meant in the next room or… 

The cubical next to them shuddered. Two big purple peds appeared in the gap between the floor and the dividing wall…soon to be followed by to smaller rusty orange peds. 

Were they sharing a stall? Ambulon wondered naively. He’d seen people do that in nightclubs before. It wasn’t until he saw Kaon’s little feet disappear off the floor and the pliable dividing wall bow toward them significantly that Ambulon started to realise the DJD Leader and his subordinate might have intended the cubical for other purposes. 

Overlord didn’t say a damn thing, but when the wall behind him started rocking against his back and the lustful muttering of Tarn’s reached their audios, the Phase-Sixer seized Drift’s wrists and forcefully tried to change places. 

Drift ripped his arms free and snarled. There was no way he was going to move. 

“Ohh! _Give it to me_!” 

A frightfully hard shunt to the wall on the other side had Overlord toppling forward. He barely had enough time to stop himself from headbutting Drift. His hands snap out and he caught himself just before their noses touched. 

Drift tried pressing himself further back, lips curled in fear and disgust. He could smell the highgrade on Overlord’s breath and see the deadness in his optics. 

“I’m moving.” Overlord growled with determination. 

Drift swallowed but remained firmly in place.

High, raspy gasps floated over from the next cubical and the wall bounced repeatedly against Overlord’s aft. He closed his eyes in annoyance. “ _Now_.” 

Drift readily rooted himself to the spot. He was _not_ moving. Not just because it was Overlord and he hadn’t said please, but why should he have to move? This was their hiding place first before Overlord came crashing in! 

But, unpredictable as always, Overlord chose not to steal Drift’s space after all. He lifted Ambulon by his helm. The watery mess dribbled down the backs of Ambulon’s legs. Overlord pushed him around with ease, manipulating him like a doll until they’d swapped positions and Overlord was now sat upon the toilet seat, which groaned under his colossal weight. 

Ambulon was left wobbling in front of him, the world spinning too quickly again. 

Drift chewed on his lips angrily, ready to take some kind of counter action, but without his great swords what could he do? And so Overlord’s brutishness went unpunished. 

_“Ohh! uuhh! Yeh!”_ Kaon was getting louder, the wall they were fragging against creaked and buckled. Overlord kept smiling directly at Drift, looking like he wanted to laugh while Drift scowled furiously. Ambulon was caught in the middle, fingers wiggling, tanks rolling, for some reason imagining what was happening on the other side of the wall. 

They heard a different sound, like obstructed speech, but deeper. 

“Shouldn’t talk with a full mouth.” Kaon cackled. 

Ambulon looked to Drift, he saw his superior’s lips twitch. 

Suddenly, the cubical felt _very_ , _very_ crowded. 

“ _Taste delicious_.”

To Ambulon’s general shock and fear he felt his thighs quiver a little. Unaware that it was the quality of Tarn’s voice stroking over his spark like an aphrodisiac. 

“Talk to me.” Kaon pleaded. The stall wall groaned again, it covered up Drift’s sounds of dismay, he’d heard uncomfortable rumours of what Tarn could do with his voice. 

 “ _My, my. You devious thing.”_

Ambulon’s face rounded with alarm, _his spark tickled!_ He opened his mouth but Drift sharply motioned for him to keep silent. Worryingly, he heard Overlord rumble behind him and a waft of hot air was breathed over his plating. Of all the cubicles, _why did Overlord choose this one?!_

_“_ Hurry up!” They heard Kaon pant. 

A rough growl and another wild thrust against the wall made Ambulon worry the structure would snap. 

Tarn growled again. Much deeper this time. Ambulon restrained himself from clutching at his spark. 

“ _So needy, so…_ ** _wet._** _”_

The word and its sinful power had Ambulon quaking hard, his thighs squeezing together. Drift looked relatively unbothered, maybe a little flushed. Ambulon didn’t dare turn to check on Overlord’s reaction. 

To their left the wall vibrated, it wasn’t until Ambulon felt a zing of feeling enter his feet that he realised he was being electrocuted by Kaon’s infectious excitement. 

“ _Take it all, that’s your reward.”_

_Thrust._

Ambulon didn’t have chance to move, the puddle he stood in was aglow with electricity, it buzzed all the way up to his knees. Ambulon sprang back instinctually, forgetting who was behind him and falling directly into Overlord’s lap.

Oh slag.

“Oh Tarn!” 

Against his back Overlord’s chassis was hot and thrumming and Ambulon couldn’t have been more mortified. The need to purge rose in him again, for now he managed to swallow it along with his pride. He couldn’t get back up, the puddle of liquid was charged and dangerous, Drift hand to teetering the tips of his peds to avoid touching it. 

The hisses and pants on the other side of the wall got harder, above them the light bulbs started to flicker. 

“More!” The demand conveyed as a squeal. 

“ _Greedy mech, your never satisfied are you?… can never get enough…”_ Tarn’s purrs were rampant with lust and praise. It was too much for Kaon who whined and filled the air with itchy static. 

“ _I’ll give you more than you can handle! And you’ll take it all because you’re so insatiable, won’t you Kaon?”_

_“_ Yes! YES!” 

There were a clatter, Kaon’s body hit the floor. Not caring for hygiene and too caught up in the thrill of chasing an overload, Tarn manhandled Kaon into position, face down, aft up, and rutted into him again and again until Kaon began wheezing into the grimy tiles. 

Under Ambulon’s aft he felt Overlord starting to shift. It seemed no one was impervious to Tarn’s voice and little by little they were being consumed. Unhappily, Ambulon realised that his position was not only terrifying but now compromising as well. Especially, when he felt his valve clutch and squeeze. 

_Mercy;_ Ambulon would have wailed to Primus. 

The condition of the ceiling light began to deteriorate, the air around them got heavier.

“Pound meee.” 

Ambulon shut his optics and pretended this was all a bad dream as Tarn’s ventilations got harder and harder. Kaon was leaving streaky orange marks across the floor and the whole cubical was practically bouncing with the force Tarn’s thrusts.  

The rattling of cheap plastic wasn’t enough to cover the sounds of burning metal clanging together and the obscene, _squelch, squelch, squelch._

_uhhg._

This was awful, so, so awfu-

“OOOOO. THERE!” 

Ambulon couldn’t escape. He looked at Drift for strength but Drift’s face was screwed up in embarrassment.

“ _Work for it.”_

The subtle shifts of Overlord’s thighs turned into obvious rocking, too much for Ambulon’s roiling spark to handle. He dug his fingers tips into Overlord’s thighs, EM fields thrashing with malcontent. Interface panel heating and agitated by minute dry-humping. 

_“_ SSO - UHHHH! _”_

_“_ **_FRAG!_ ** _”_

When Kaon overloaded a blaze of white light flashed out of the toilet cubical. It short-circuited the ceiling light and frazzled the floor. 

The whole room blazed in a strobe-light effect and shards of the ceiling light rained on them.

Tarn’s cursing made Ambulon’s spark squeeze but the effect of it was overcome by Drift, who, to escape the fallout of Kaon’s all-consuming pleasure, had to leap _off_ the floor, away from the bouncing waves of electricity. And the only place he could go was…

“Oh Primus.” Ambulon groaned as Drift dived onto him. Under their combined weight the toilet seat snapped. Brittle plastic stabbed Amublon’s aft as Drift hovered just off Ambulon’s lap (thank Primus, he didn’t feel the heat burning off Ambulon’s plating.) However, the little relief was crushed as Ambulon was made to feel the heat rising off _Drift’s_ plating instead. Namely his groin area, which bobbed ominously close to Ambulon’s face as he stared - jaw slack. 

Drift balanced with one foot and one hand braced on the wall, the other hand grasped the turret jutting up from Overlord’s helm and the very, very tip of his other foot wobbled on the tiny amount of toilet seat visible between Ambulon’s legs. 

A feeling of tension unlike anything Ambulon had ever experienced before grew in him. The threat of death from the DJD, the embarrassment of his superiors interface bobbing within licking distance and, _and!_ being drunkenly horny was _far_ too much stress for one mech to take!

Overlord and Drift just locked eyes and glared. Silently. While Tarn and Kaon came down from their overload high: moaning. 

And just when Ambulon thought thing couldn’t _possibly_ get any weirder. 

“TARN?!” 

…Things got weirder. 

Helex barged in through the door. Literally, the frame wasn't built to suit his size, but he rammed himself through the opening anyway and put cracks in the dry wall.

“Dark in here,” He commented, activating a pair of headlamps that spotlighted his line of sight.

Helex’s head towered above the cubicles, he was looking into everyone in search of his leader, irregardless of the _Occupied_ or _Out of Order_ statuses. Wobbling a bit, he wandered down the line until he stumbled on their stall. 

The moments in which Helex refocused his hazy optics upon the blur of bodies he’d just encountered were the longest Ambulon had experienced , in which time he could say his life flashed before his eyes but the sequence was actually interrupted by a face full of white and grey and coppery red as Drift’s midriff was pressed into his face, completely covering him from Helex’s sight.

Warm metal moved over his cheek, Ambulon could hear Drift’s spark palpitating hard and he and Overlord…kissed?

_What?!_

Ambulon had to see it to believe it. 

Turning between the two bodies was impossible, he just managed to twist his helm enough to catch glimpses of oral fluid being swapped from the far corners of his optics. Overlord’s plush lips moulding perfectly over Drift’s mouth, the gentleness of it and passion was so uncharacteristic and wrong… but it was enough. 

“Ehh, sorry.” Helex grumbled. Too sloshed to be vigilant. He rubbed the image from his optics and then moved on. 

“TARN!” 

Tarn and Kaon were just picking themselves up from the floor. 

“DJ’s playing your ssssong request-uh. Come on!” 

Sated and content, Tarn’s engine revved quietly. Ever the courtly pioneer, he held open the door for Kaon on the way out. When it swung back the hinges creaked so loudly that Ambulon thought they might explode spectacularly and drop the door. 

“Nice aft.” Tarn commented slyly, dragging his feet so he could take a longer look at the little orange mech _limp_ , bow-legged as he paraded after Helex.  

The light left with the group and the room turned black. 

The three of them remained crouched together, clutched in place by Overlord’s arm fastened round both of them when he'd pulled Drift close. 

“Umm,” Ambulon interrupted the rhythm of heavy pants.  

Soon after Overlord’s arm, which had been embracing them together so tightly, was having the opposite effect. He shoved them apart. Ambulon crashed into Drift and fell through the door, feet slipping and arms flailing for something to grab. The charge worked up inside him was shaken and fizzed with all the motion. In the end it was Drift who caught him. 

Drift activated his headlamps also. They glowed brightly and bounced off Overlord’s plating as he came tromping out of the toilet cubical after them. At first he bypassed them as if he was going straight for the exit but at the door he paused and turned back. 

Smirking, he raised his arm, held it steady and out stretched, curling his fingers into the shape of a gun. 

For an eternity, he kept it level. Threateningly so. 

Then grunted. 

“Next time.” 

After the door swung closed behind Overlord only then Ambulon found it acceptable to breathe. 

He ex-vented so heavily he slumped against Drift. There better not be a next time, Ambulon’s spark couldn’t take it. Which reminded him of the unhealthy charge tickling in his circuits. 

Behind him Drift was buzzing too, though he appeared to be trying to control himself 

Ambulon stood straight and faced him. 

They stared at each other,

Speechless.

And then, they were connected passionately and stumbling _back_ into the toilet stall. 

With the DJD raving in the next room what did they have to lose? 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Any requests?  
> Read the terms and conditions, http://bammshee.tumblr.com/bammsheesfanficrequests ,  
> and then inbox me your ideas :D


End file.
